Tuesday, 11 November 2008

Subaru Challenge is NOT for me

I just heard the news that some guy won the challenge this year and that he stretched the record mark to over 81 hours.

Wow, that is like making $1000 an hour.

JJ was saying that he wanted us all to join next year and I thought that was a crazy idea.

"I think it's going to be insane to be out there for 80 hours straight." I protested.

"Ya, standing in the heat and all. It's really a mental struggle." He said.

"Just imagine not removing my makeup for 3 days straight. I'm going to look horrible!" I added.

They started staring at me like they always do.

"Girl, why would you want to put on makeup?" They asked.

"Well, we are going to be in the middle of Orchard Road and you expect me to go to town without makeup?"

"It's a challenge! Not a beauty pageant!"

"I know that! But who said we can't look good while trying to win a car?" I argued.

"Gawd, you are impossible. What next? You want to wear your heels?"

Obviously I'm not that dumb to wear heels for 3 days straight.

"Don't be silly. We can sit right?"

Wednesday, 28 May 2008

Diet Or Regular?

I don't know why, but people can't seem to take orders well these days. How are these outlets actually hiring? If they can't even take a simple order of Coke, how are they ever going to bring me shoes in the right sizes?

"Give me a coke." I ordered.

"Diet coke?' She replied

"Just coke."

"Diet or regular." She asked again, and it was getting on my nerves.

I've been walking ALL day, late for my manicure, carrying an oversized bag and under the insane afternoon sun, and all this in heels no less.

"I want just the normal coke."

"So regular coke?"

"If that's what you call it here, then yes!"

Wednesday, 14 May 2008

Per Entry Charge

"You got to top up your cashcard before you go in." I said,

Jules ignored me entirely. His card was already beeping all the way since we passed the ERP thingy.

"Jules! You can't go in like that!" I yelled,

"Why not?" He responded

"Jules, it says per entry charges. How are you going to go in if you have not enough money left on the card?"

Jules, ignored me and drop straight through. The barrier lifted magically and we got in.

"They deducted already? I thought you said you didn't have enough money in the card?"

"You only pay when you exit!" Jules replied.

"But it says PER ENTRY CHARGE!"

Wednesday, 7 May 2008

Buying a toaster

I'm a Jack-in-a-box I know, or I much rather prefer the metaphoric representation of the Birthday cake surprise girl, minus the bikini or body hugging latex. Thanks for all the concerned emails, which I believe I have replied everyone diligently. I write and run :)

No, I'm not dead or sold to Cambodia. No, I'm not secretly married to some investment banker (but that is a nice thought) and no, I haven't been THAT busy shopping I forgot I have a blog.

I just, well didn't think I had very much to write.

I went shopping with this girlfriend of mine, Jessie, the other day cos she wanted to buy some household appliances for her absolute pig of a boyfriend who looks like he doesn't have a life outside his living room couch. She wanted to buy him a toaster because there was this tiny fully chromed one that she thought would blend in perfectly to the kitchen. Additionally, she's been awfully inspired by Yakun Toast after one eventful Tuesday morning breakfast.

"I'll get him the toaster" she said,

"Why do you need a toaster for? Isn't it a waste of money?" I replied

"No it isn't. Plus I think it looks pretty."

"Silver really isn't my thing, but don't you think this is a little impractical?"

"Impractical? Mylene, it's a toaster. It's job is to toast."

"Yea but, all it does is just toast. Don't you think you should get something that toast and does other stuff as well.." I argued,


"Like, a Mircowave?!"

Was I wrong?

Monday, 3 March 2008

Randomly Blonde

I'm back to being blonde!! Oh well, at least till the roots grow. I actually like myself blonde although everyone thinks I'm better off with jet black locks.

I actually dreamt I was back in Hong Kong, sipping latte and reading a novel at a bristo. I miss HK sooo much and it's not just because of the shoes and clothes and oh my gawd, bless Jimmy Choo.

Oh well, I haven't got much to say to you guys, except maybe that I've been so awfully busy these days, I sometimes find myself guilty of wearing the same shoes for consecutive days. Awfully sinful I know I know, but that's why I'm redeeming myself by staying off chocolates or nutella ice cream. You'll forgive me right?

Yes, thanks Kelly and Ecstasy for inviting me to party with you guys, but I couldn't make it. How was it? You have HB and Butterfly so I'm sure my absence can go un-noticed. I'm actually also not entirely sure I want to come out of the closet and show myself because I love anoymity. Yea, maybe BF has seen me (if he remembers), but that was purely unscripted and it was more because the guys wanted to buy him drinks and that was ages ago!

Finally, if you really need to reach me, bimbochronicles@gmail.com

Wednesday, 20 February 2008

My date

I think I need to swear off dating, like whipped cream on a cheesecake. Last weekend was the single most horrible date partner I’ve experienced and thrust (oops, I mean trust) me, I’ve had quite a colourful history in this department.

Cody, as I shall call him because of that’s my best jock name and this guy was a jock through and through, was everything you would find in a caveman. He defied everything David Beckham had instituted in metrosexualism, from the unshaven goatie to mismatched shoes. Thankfully, he was cute and had one helleva butt.

I’m actually thankful I didn’t make him my Valentine’s date or I would have forever sworn of being happy on the 14th or maybe considered being lesbian. I mean this was a guy who took the initiative to ask me out (points for that, yes) and then decided he would take me to the most romantic spot he knew, Carl’s Jr.

Do know how sinful that place is? I have to go down in my nun’s garb some other day to bless that place because I don’t know how many calories they serve over the counter, but I do know it’s blasphemous.

And eating at Carl’s Jr with those oversized burgers? I’m sure that’s absolutely glamourous, maybe it’s GQ worthy even, but having mustard or ketchup streaking across my lips isn’t my glossy idea of a first date. I also don’t find anything remotely sexxay in watching men gorge at their burgers and leaving an onion, or maybe five, wedged between their teeth. Yuckie...

I’ve been a nice girl, maybe sometimes I’m guilty of too much eyeliner, but I’ve been generally good. So why do I get stuck with this man? As if the dinner venue left much to be desired, the conversation was all about him and car abbreviations, which I don’t even understand. Like hello? I know what goes great with suede or when I have to wear lace, but cars? Just as long as I look great in it and best if they come in red, it’s all that matters to me.

This guy just went on and on and I went from pretending to be interested to playing with the fries. So, you would think he would notice the boredom in me right? Noooo, this guy was like so dense he thought I was still hungry. My Gawd, I don’t know what’s worse, breaking a nail or sitting with him for another minute.

To add to this, he was constantly bragging about how much he earned and what investments he had and all I could think of was, ‘and the best you could do is Carl’s Jr?’. What is it with men these days?

I obviously had to cut the date short and give it the most unnatural death I could think of, so I told him I was going to watch a movie with my boyfriend and I totally forgot I told him I was single before this.

Friday, 18 January 2008

I'm Back!!

I'm not sure if anyone really cares, but I'm back!

I just lost another man in my life, I've just gotten back from Hong Kong and I've got a new job. That should be a good enough excuse for anyone I'm sure. All that drama over a breakup that I never really wanted and he wanted, then I got tired and he wanted back in. I think my life is linked to the Hong Kong serials.

It's been an emotional rollercoaster and I'm like totally drained. All that nonsense of 'trust in love is all we need', I'm starting to see why the strong women are all career driven. It's because you know your work will never cheat on you behind your back with some slut of a KTV whore.

Wow, I feel better already, even if that was too much information for you to digest. Okay, I shan't be all angsty and bitchy on my first post of this new year. The new year party we had was so crazy that I think half of Jordan heard us laughing.

We had it at MrT's place and it was this dodgy place with water puddles that just totally did not go well with my Blahniks. It was a bachelor pad down to the decor. The ashtray was a shape of a woman's cunt and his stash of adult entertainment paraded with the latest Hollywood produce. He told me he had something good for me, pointing to this little saucer with a multi coloured pills that looked like M&Ns.

He said, "You're gonna get high on this, cupcake."

and I said, "Do you have champagne instead? I get really high really fast with champagne."